The wounds of generations in your cells.
The balance of yin and yang: the complementarity of two opposing yet connected poles that attract one another. In a dual world full of conditioning and ideas about how things should be, this is a challenge. Yet it encompasses EVERYTHING. It is needed not only in relationships or sexuality, but in every area of life and, in my understanding, is a key to a new Earth. First, this balance can emerge within you; then it becomes visible outside you without effort.
The way we do one thing is the way we do everything. So today we will examine one area and, through it, change the bigger picture.
Love at soul level does not fit a concept. You cannot possess it or hold on to it. It lives through an ongoing willingness to trust the unknown.
A woman longs for a man who holds her. She wants to let go, be feminine and dance with the flow of life. She wants to be sensual and powerful, live her gift and create peace.
So why do so few experience this in reality?
Because we have lost our fundamental trust, and because we have learned a deeply distorted picture of men and women.
We were taught that masculinity meant providing for a family.
Men need power, status and money—and please do not cry; that would be unmanly. Always stay busy. Please do not feel. You are not a human being with emotions; after all, you are a man.
We can look back across centuries and see what I describe as ancestral wounds lodged in the bones of our bodies.
Men have taken this on and continually strive for success: higher, faster, further.
For more…
But more of what, exactly? And with what intention?
To replace missing love with the cheap exchange of recognition and validation. To numb the inability to love.
Here are two patterns through which I describe this developing:
A mother who could not let go of her son. She “over-loved” him—or rather, she wanted to receive love. He therefore no longer wants love because he believes it is suffocating and costs him his needs, or what he calls his freedom. Love was an unpleasant, negotiable game in his childhood. He interprets his mother’s lack as love, rather than recognising a mother who acted out her own unresolved wounds of missing love through him.
Or a mother who communicated love only through achievement. Love had to be earned. Such men then believe they must work like mad to feel worth anything.
The result can be either the macho man or the timid man. Underneath, the others may simply hide their vulnerability better.
Of course, such patterns can also come from a father; there are many variations. An absent father can also drive a man to keep striving because he is begging for his father’s recognition. Unless the pattern is addressed, it can continue into old age. Sadly, it was never enough. You can learn as much as you like about scaling and automation, but if your hidden belief is that you only deserve money and love when you work hard… That is a subject for a separate article.
Today we are looking at the mother wound that says:
LOVE IS DANGEROUS.
What does it cost us not to heal these wounds? What happens if we keep running blindly on the hamster wheel?
In my view, politics illustrates this particularly clearly. I see unresolved wounds reflected in so many toxic people in power. Honestly, would we even follow a humble man who serves love? Would we take seriously someone who leads rather than rules?
NOT YET.
A man who does not want to feel cannot truly lead either, because perception and awareness remain buried behind generations of wounds.
Masculine leadership, as I mean it here, is present and attentive. It does not patronise you; it lets you be who you are. It lets you dance in light and shadow without compensating for anything. It amplifies everything you feel. It is the Buddha who needs no grand words. But I am not talking about passive or boring calm. It is a calm with fire. A look that ignites. Clarity that needs only one decision to move mountains. It is giving energy—not something to which you surrender yourself, because, when you are awake as a woman, it offers you the opportunity to surrender to yourself and to life. And he observes, guides, remains silent, leads, gives and feels…
In a state of awakening, energies no longer merge into confusion: they complement one another.
This requires independence. I do not mean earning your own money and living alone—we are very good at that. I mean facing the truth without compensation, showing vulnerability without wanting to take, tolerating silence, staying with it and accepting responsibility for the wounded parts within.
But how do we get there?
Men, a thought: your suppressed anger matters. It needs a way to be expressed.
Each of us can begin with ourselves. That is where everything starts, on both a small and a large scale.
We will change nothing in politics, on this Earth or in its systems if we do not understand how we feed them and begin to put our own inner house in order. Breaking toxic patterns matters. At home, we often do the same things, only unobserved.
The new Earth is crying out until we finally awaken.
In the image I use here, the last war on Earth will be the war each person faces within themselves to discover the truth. Only then will we truly change something.
And now to women:
We women can all but demand that men be powerful and have STATUS. They must be quick-witted and always on point. In doing so, we feed the pattern of mothers who did not understand their own wounds.
We want leadership so much that we are exhausted. We live against what I describe as our natural energies. We fight for equality, believing it will solve the problem; my argument here is that men and women are not identical. We no longer want the suppression that has taken place for years. In my view, overcoming it begins with humility and love for ourselves, rather than trying to become the same. Please begin with yourself: seeing your body, your gift and yourself as something beautiful.
But how can you stand up for your own needs if you do not even know what those needs are?
That is why we struggle to trust. We want to be led, but only in the way we want, and we try to raise our men. Twin souls disappear immediately. And the “Adam and Eve” relationships have an unsatisfying love life—an exchange, a trading agreement, because they need each other. We women have become the “better men”.
We do not want a man so much as someone who pleases us.
Our twin soul becomes a substitute for the love we never received.
A woman projects her own dissatisfaction onto the man and wants to resolve it there.
Because looking in her own mirror is so painful, this feels easier. We keep trying to fix them, blaming them and placing our energy with them—or anywhere outside ourselves—rather than within ourselves, where, in this understanding, a woman’s energy belongs. You do not trust the divine, the masculine or the movement of energy towards you because you do not know it. You are caught in a cage of suppressed needs. You cannot let someone close without control because you fear your boundaries will be crossed. You struggle to draw them, not because you are incapable, but because you do not even know when or where you need them. You do not trust your perception.
Welcome to the fear of attachment. But no, I know: it is his fault. He is not healing.
Where does this come from?
Here, too, I describe two patterns:
The absent father whose attention you needed so much. You did everything, but he could not give you what you needed because he was wounded himself. You repeat the pattern to this day, over and over, while telling yourself how far you have already come.
Or the father who treated you like a princess. Were you his everything?
I am sorry to say this: that did not prepare you honestly for the world. Life is not so simple that everything goes according to your wishes and someone constantly revolves around you. Growing up means seeing this. He made himself irreplaceable; who could meet those expectations?
Of course, there can also be a mother who expected too much because she wanted to receive something. That will be a separate article. Today, we are looking at the two main types.
The pursuing woman and the avoiding man. The giver and the avoider—or, in the language of this work, the one who lets go and the emotional clarifier.
Dear woman: heal, awaken and remember the divine woman you have always been.
You need to let him go and love yourself. In the relationship picture I am describing, you leave room for him to approach you.
If trauma can be passed down through generations, then healing can be too.
Where did this disaster begin?
Of course, these wounds do not only come from our parents; that would be too narrow a view. They reach far back into the stories of our ancestors. Our parents, too, were conditioned.
Let us go deeper:
Love was not allowed to win.
Whether beggars or royalty, the ancestral story I describe is one of forced marriages, secret affairs when true love appeared, and the threat of being killed or tortured.
In this picture, people either harmed and killed others or were killed themselves. This is where I locate that fear of death. When you live your gift too visibly, you fear death—who really wants the truth?
When you speak your mind and assert yourself, you fear being a bad person.
In my spiritual understanding, the feminine has a direct connection with the divine, in a different way from the masculine. Healing abilities were labelled witchcraft and women were burned. Power and control were wanted, not love. The ego fought over who was best, as it still does today, instead of recognising how individual we all are and that there is enough for everyone. We still live by variations of this pattern because we do not want to see and feel through generational wounds. Love wants to GIVE, but we finally want to receive and get something. We then tell ourselves we have a femininity problem and need to practise receiving.
Because the truth unsettles you before it sets you free.
How do we really arrive there—in our unity?
In the language of my spiritual work, the dark power has to leave your cells: those wounds so deeply seated that you keep going around in circles. You heal and heal but never feel you have arrived.
For this, I developed the online training Dynamics between Men and Women in a New Era. It is a four-hour programme intended to create lasting change. Through a Healing Journey, it works with what I describe as powers and attachments at their root. You also explore communication that helps you remain centred, how to set boundaries, how men and women of a new era can meet, and more.
Words are not enough for the truth. There is plenty of knowledge; putting it into practice is where we struggle. Change needs to become something you can feel within yourself. Sense what is right for you, then decide:
