In twin flame processes or with karmic partners, setting boundaries becomes essential if you want to move forward. First of all, dear soul, I want you to understand why this is such a daunting challenge for you.As a child, you learned to adapt and be kind in order to receive love. Furthermore, you received everything that was energetically thrown at you. In other words: You accepted negativity from others and then made them feel better – you balanced it out. You are essentially a helper and have learned to project good feelings externally, rather than internally. In doing so, you have created closeness and connection externally, which of course isn’t one. Now, when you meet your dual soul, life wants to make you POWERFUL internally for yourself. Healthy boundaries are part of that.
Setting boundaries and self- love:
For me, self-love and setting boundaries aren’t two phases, but one. They are interdependent.If you’ve arrived here, you’ve already done a lot of work on your inner issues, you’ve been through absolute hell (I know), and you’ve managed to LET GO, and this is slowly igniting your self-love. Your self-worth has increased, and setting boundaries is now essential.
You always get the results you tolerate.
For me, self-love and setting boundaries aren’t two phases, but one. They are interdependent.If you’ve arrived here, you’ve already done a lot of work on your inner issues, you’ve been through absolute hell (I know), and you’ve managed to LET GO, and this is slowly igniting your self-love. Your self-worth has increased, and setting boundaries is now essential.You always get the results you tolerate.
You no longer tolerate affairs, on-off dates, quick meetings when it suits him so he can then emotionally vent if it was too intense!!! And most importantly, you’ve truly started to LET GO. Not just HIM, but especially the idea that he’s your source of happiness.
I remember, we had a really intimate time. At times, I was already irritated that he was still there. Then he came to one of my events, and I immediately felt that familiar feeling of that great distance again.
One look was enough for me. In those moments, I often felt like I was disgusting him.
Then he moved in with his girlfriend….
and then I realized: ENOUGH!!!
But it was a different “ENOUGH.” It wasn’t until the next opportunity. It was a stepping out of this disaster and a full willingness on my part to put an end to this nightmare.Was that difficult for me?
YES – OF COURSE.
For two weeks, I was so shocked at myself. The following thoughts were constantly running through my head:
What did I tolerate? How can someone be of so little value?
It was as if a light bulb went off in my head.I firmly believe that every person who LETS GO, needs to reach this point! The point where it’s too much.
This phase contains two aspects:
heaven and hell.
Number 1: You begin to truly recognize and love yourself for who you truly are. Your value increases.
Your beauty, your purity, your gift. You perceive nature and everything around you very consciously. Likewise, number 2: You now also recognize what you have done to yourself everywhere, in all areas of life. Where you were on the outside (with others) instead of on the inside (with yourself).
Heaven and Hell meet.
AND HERE WE GO!
You’ve let go of the sources that compensates externally.
Now you’re READY – for YOU – for ALL IN.
For many people, it’s a long phase until they can LET GO because the fear of loss is so strong. They’d do anything to alleviate it. But now you’re ready to heal it.
A lot has to have happened for this step to be done, because the person who is now letting go tolerates a lot. Their pain threshold is enormously high because their value is enormously low. At least on the inside.
That’s why they have been hurt deeply before they dare to take this step, but it is essential. This is the first major liberation for a new future.
But after letting go, the real work begins. The dissolution of all the traumas, entanglements, vows, and much more that caused things to get this far.
My advice:
You should get HELP now, at the latest. You don’t have to stay stuck here for years, and you certainly don’t have to go through it on your own. No one can get through this quickly and efficiently not on one’s own. Not even me. I was very grateful for my mentors.
It is possible to resolve traumas, vows, entanglements, and much more and it is possible to resolve it right from the root and realigned. Feel free to book your clarity session if you feel the urge. Please only do so if you can feel it. We are for those who WANT, not those who NEED. 🙂
As you heal deep within, the outside begins to change as well.You’re cleaning up all areas of your life. Maybe you’re looking for a new job, maybe you are starting your own business, or you are moving. Maybe you’re breaking up with friends or your partner, if you have one.Every day, you feel more and more how you’re putting yourself first in your life.It’s about YOU.
To be honest, you do not care about your emotional clarifier. You’re preoccupied with yourself. Most people don’t have contact during this phase. I occasionally contacted them because I wanted to know where I stood. A little test for myself. *grin*
Am I stable yet?
No, everything is still shaky – you’ll have to learn in and from many areas. The universe is testing how much you stay loyal and true to yourself and how willing you are to never leave yourself.
Setting boundaries and the challenges involved:
There are two ways to set boundaries.
INNER (energetic) and EXTERNAL (saying NO).
External boundaries:
As your fear of loss diminishes and you recognize your worth, you’re already relatively good at saying NO. Your perception of things and your external world changes.
You sort people and situations out. I remember my biggest misconception:
I was separating myself from love instead of activating it.I reject, oh my God – I’m not in love. I’m doing something wrong!!
Heart people believe that letting go and being with themselves is separation from the outside world and cut off from love.
After all, you only received love when you GAVE and when you were with the other person. How could you receive love simply because you are?
I am alone.
I am cut off from the outside world.
I will never have a deep connection.
Now I am no longer needed or loved.
Do you know that?
Then I can tell you right away:
You are doing a good job because it is okay to sort out people as well as situations and not just let it be….and doing this in many cases.
People who let go have many energy robbers in their field.
You haven’t regressed if you feel this way; you’re healing. It’s dissolving.
Likewise, you never have to tolerate an affair with your twin soul again. It’s a divine love; how can anyone possibly make it seem less than it is? (I was amazed at myself for a long time.)
Just as you can make clear decisions at work, with colleagues, or wherever. Is this hobby, this job, with these people still a good fit, or do I need something new?
Self-love and boundaries
and joy in life don’t mean you can’t let go of something and choose a new way. You can appreciate all these people, but you can also set priorities according to your new values.It was very challenging for me to realize when setting boundaries: I don’t reject the other person, but I no longer tolerate certain things.
The great resilience of someone who lets go:
You have a very high pain threshold, so sometimes you don’t even notice that you’ve just been mistreated or that something is happening that you don’t want. You’ve learned to avoid loss and to care for the needs of others. It was never about you. You often didn’t even feel yourself. You did not know your own needs and you did not recognize your boundaries.
That’s why people will come along now who will push your boundaries, so that you first know where your boundaries actually are. You can get to know yourself. You can learn to notice what you want and what you don’t want. Be patient with yourself.I found this phase very intense and strange. Because I was shocked at how cut off I was, cut of from my own truth and my own needs.
You can only loose what was not made for you
….and…
It is safe to be yourself.
Inner/ energetic boundaries:
The outside world changes, and you can say NO – wonderful. But if you’re honest with yourself, it’s shaky. With every boundary, you still fear the consequences or get palpitations. Afterwards, you’re proud of yourself and feel joy. Anything is possible. At some point, however, you realize that NO means you’re still perceiving the other person’s energy. You feel the other person strong and somehow not with yourself. Then the next phase begins.
Setting energetic boundaries
From the inside out.
When you’re well-practiced externally and your needs become increasingly clear to you, you begin to embody these boundaries from the inside out. They become your new normal. Then you have to say NO less often, because people sense what they can and what they can’t do.
Then, only then… stability and calm will come into your life, because you suddenly attract completely different people without doing anything and you signal to the existing ones what is or what isn’t possible here. Not everyone can just help themselves like they’re at a buffet anymore.
Example:
At the beginning of my self-employment, we offered WhatsApp support for our 1:1 coaching sessions.At some point, we grew so large that we were allowed to stop this and moved the whole thing to a platform. Here, just like before, everyone could ask questions 24/7. Some complained enormously, and I had to draw this line again and again. Today, I don’t have to do that anymore.
No one would even dare to contact me on my phone. Even in our group programs, I sense that most people think things through for themselves first and only ask questions when they’re really stuck with the videos, healing journeys, and sheets. We also have two calls a week. Many save their questions and ask them there.
Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?
Next important step.
There is a longing behind every limit and that one wants to be lived
This means that if you set boundaries externally, they will enter your field internally and energetically.
You then radiate it, and the boundary is integrated into the system. You no longer need to set them.
You let them fall again. This is the most important thing of all, because otherwise you cannot arrive at your polarity. Boundaries set boundaries. What is important in this phase is that they separate you from what is not serving you, so that you can arrive at your own power and be at peace with yourself. But you want to connect deeply with people. That’s why you inhale these boundaries and then you are ready to trust yourself and can allow and experience love and genuine closeness. Beautiful. Feel free to leave a comment. What is your biggest aha moment from the article?
Here is the link to our Healing Journey – Heart Opening:
In deep love
Sabrina Spinnler